Cherry Blossom\'s Little Halloween Special
by Cherry Blossom
Summary: Double doses of Halloween fun! First the original special, and this year\'s obligatory model. ^__^ Watch out for weirdos and character bashing. And for God\'s sake don\'t touch the candy apples.
1. The original!

Hiyee Minna! (waves) This is my obligatory Halloween special. It's really pointless and makes no sense and I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it. But even thought it sucks I'm going to post it anyway. Nya, nya. Neways I don't own Gundam Wing or Michael Jackson's song, Thriller or anything else I mention in this fic. Except Matteo. He's mine. Just a warning, this fic is A) stupid, B) contains Relena bashing, C) contains YAOI, and D) has singing OOC G-Boyz in it. If you don't want to see any of this go away and don't flame me. 

One more thing…about the way I treat Wufei in this fic. It's not that I don't like Wufei. 'Cause I do. He rules. But he's just so easy to tease. So if it seems like I'm bashing Wufei…I'M NOT. Right, on with the fic.

Cherry Blossom's Little Halloween Special

Cherry Blossom and Matteo are in a theater house, preparing the stage for the show. 

Matteo: Hey Cherry, where do you want this box?

Cherry Blossom: Just put it over there by the pumpkins.

Matteo: (muttering something about how he always has to do the hard labor blah blah)

Cherry Blossom: La, la, la. My guest's should be arriving any minute now.

Suddenly (yes, suddenly) five boys fall from a hole that just appeared in the sky and land on the ground in a jumbled heap.

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Trowa: Are you all right, koi?

Quatre: You're sitting on my ARM.

Wufei: Get OFF, Maxwell!

Duo: The hell?

Cherry Blossom: Hey guys! It's Halloween. You know what that means? We get to do a special fic! YAY!

Duo: Oh no, not another vampire fic. I'm _always_ in vampire fics.

Cherry Blossom: Actually I was thinking of something else.

Trowa: No demented parties.

Cherry Blossom: Wouldn't dream of it.

Heero: No haunted house things.

Cherry Blossom: I wasn't going to do a haunted house either.

Wufei: No dishonorable cross-dressing costume fics.

Cherry Blossom: Damn! Er—I mean, of course not.

Heero: No chibi trick-or-treater fics.

Cherry Blossom: Damn!! Uh…I mean, would I do that to you?

Heero: deathglares at Cherry

Quatre: No scary movies like Scream or Nightmare on Elm Street or anything like that. They give me the creeps. (shudders and moves closer to Trowa who smiles and puts an arm around his koi)

Cherry Blossom: You guuuuuuuuys. You're ruining all my ideas!

Heero: Guess we can't do anything then.

Cherry Blossom: Wait a minute. I just got an idea.

Everyone: (groans)

Cherry Blossom: MUSIC VIDEO!!

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Wufei: INJUSTICE! I am NOT singing in some STUPID video.

Cherry Blossom: But it'll be fun. Trust me….

Trowa: Why do I get a bad feeling every time you say that?

Duo: Maybe 'cause every time she says that we end up getting killed or chibified or worse…

Relena: HEEEEERRRROOOOOOO!!!!

Duo: It just got worse.

Heero: (hides behind Wufei) 

Trowa: How come she's in the fic? I thought you hated her.

Cherry Blossom: Oh but I do, Trowa, I do. (breaks into maniacal laughter)

Relena: Um..I suddenly feel very uneasy.

Cherry Blossom: (grins wickedly) Oh don't worry, Relena. You've got the main part in this fic. You're the star.

Relena: (brightens) Really?

Cherry Blossom: (nods her head still grinning)

Relena: Well I guess it's only natural that I get the main part, me being a princess and all…

Cherry Blossom: Shut up now and I won't kill you (yet).

Relena: (shuts up)

Cherry Blossom: We need some more people. Let's see… 

Some more people pop out of the air and land on the ground in front of Cherry Blossom.

Noin: OW!

Zechs: What the--?

Sally Po: Hell?

Dorothy: I'm gonna KILL whoever did th—oh hi Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: (waves)

Zechs: Okay, what the hell is going on?

Cherry Blossom: (pinches Zech's cheeks) Awwww. You're so cute when you're angry!

Zechs: (blushes) Umm…

Cherry Blossom: We're going to be doing a music video! Yay!

Dorothy: Uh uh. No way am I doing a music video.

Zechs: I can't sing.

Cherry Blossom: Sure you can Zechzy! You just open your mouth and—

Noin: You don't understand. He REALLY can't sing.

Cherry Blossom: I don't believe you.

Noin: (sighs) Show her, Zechs.

Zechs: (blushes and clears his throat) Umm…..what do I sing?

Cherry Blossom: (rolls her eyes) Just sing anything.

Zechs: (clears his throat again and starts to sing like a dying cat) TELL ME WHY? AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HEARTACHE! TELL ME WHY? AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A MISTAKE! TELL ME WHY? I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAAAAYYY THAT I WANT IT THAAAAT WAAAAY!!!

Everyone: (collapses to the ground in pain covering their ears)

Cherry Blossom: STOP! STOP! STOP THE TOTURE! 

Noin: I warned you. But would you listen? Nooooo….

Cherry Blossom: Shut up. Okay, Zechs you don't have to sing. You can rap.

Zechs: Rap?

Cherry Blossom: Right. Okay everybody get your script and costumes ready.

Heero: We don't have any scripts or costumes.

Cherry Blossom: (snaps her fingers and scripts and costumes appear in everyone's hands) Anybody else have a problem? No? Good. Now scram. We're shooting scene one in half an hour.

Half an hour later….

Relena: (comes out of dressing room dressed as a creepy slime monster) I am NOT wearing this costume.

Cherry Blossom: But it suits you so well.

Relena: You said I could be the star.

Cherry Blossom: And you are. You've got the most important part. We can't have a Halloween music video with out an evil, terrifying, ugly, bloodsucking, slime monster.

Relena: I am NOT doing this!

Cherry Blossom: Too bad. I guess we'll have to let Dorothy have your part. I'm sure she wouldn't mind chasing Heero around.

Relena: Heero?

Cherry Blossom: Well he's the hero (bad pun…BAD PUN) of this fic, isn't he? The monster chases the hero around. That's how it works.

Relena: (looks down at her costume and back up at Cherry)

Dorothy: (comes out of her dressing room wearing a zombie costume weird ooky green makeup and a top hat…YES a top hat) Are we shooting this thing or not?

Relena: NO! YOU SHALL NOT HAVE MY HEERO!!! (glares at Dorothy and stalks off onto the set to take her place)

Dorothy: What's with her?

Cherry Blossom: (shrugs) Beats me.

The dressing room door with the biggest star on it opens up and Heero steps out wearing black leather pants, an unzipped black leather jacket, and a white tank top. 

Heero: Cherry must _die_!

Duo steps out of his dressing room wearing ripped jeans and a black t-shirt with MOD on the front (yay mod). 

Duo: Hey, Heero. Lookin' good.

Heero: These pants are chafing me.

Duo: (sweatdrops)

Cherry Blossom: (sweatdrops) Riiight. Let's get on with this. C'mon guys out of the change rooms. Get your rears in gear. Chop chop.

Quatre steps out of his dressing room and looks at everybody shyly. He is dressed as a mummy wrapped in miles and miles of white bandages.

Duo: Hey Cherry, where'd you get the bandages?

Cherry Blossom: (kicks the box labeled St. John's Hospital out of sight) Nowhere special.

Trowa comes out of his dressing room dressed as a wolf man (kinda like….you know….a wolf man). He looks at Quatre and gets a nosebleed. Quatre blushes.

Trowa: (gulps) Are you…..wearing…anything under…..that?

Quatre: (smiles) I don't know….maybe we should find out—

Cherry Blossom: Guys, video now makeout session later.

Heero: _Much_ later.

Quatre: (pouts)

Sally Po comes out of her room dressed in a short, leather skirt and black tank top.

Duo: Wow Cherry, you really have a thing about the color black, don't you?

Cherry Blossom: (shrugs) It's Halloween.

Zechs and Noin come out of their dressing rooms. Noin is wearing a black leotard with a tail and two pointy cat ears for accessories.

Noin: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Cherry Blossom: (trying to hold back laughter) It's a cat suit.

Noin: AND WHY DO _I_ HAVE TO WEAR A CAT SUIT?

Cherry Blossom: Can't have Halloween without a black cat. You don't see Zechs complaining, do you?

Noin: ZECHS ISN'T WEARING A CAT COSTUME!!

Actually Zechs wasn't wearing much of a costume at all. Just a dark trench coat and some really funky looking contact lenses that gave him lizard eyes (you know those weird yellow eyes that lizards have…freaky).

Zechs: MWAHAHAHA!!! DEMON EYES!! I HAVE DEMON EYES!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Cherry Blossom: All right who gave Zechs the sugar?

Duo: I only gave him one box of pixie stix (PIXIE STIX^__^) .

Cherry Blossom: Didn't I tell you that you couldn't have the candy until _after_ the video?

Duo: (looks guilty) Umm…

Cherry Blossom: Never mind. Is everybody ready to go? 

Quatre: Where's Wufei?

Cherry Blossom: Good question. (bangs on Wufei's dressing room door) WUFEI! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!

Wufei: GO AWAY ONNA! I am NOT going out there in this STUPID costume.

Cherry Blossom: But you have to! I can't do the video without you.

Wufei: GO AWAY!

Cherry Blossom: I didn't want to have to do this but….(snaps her fingers and the dressing room disappears) you give me no choice.

Wufei is standing there in a red leotard with a red cape holding a red pitchfork and sporting two devilish horns on his head. He glares at everybody. 

Cherry Blossom: You look so cute.

Wufei: I am going to KILL you.

Sally Po: (tries to hold in laughter) Mmmph…..er….nice (gasp)…..COSTUME….you got there W-wufei, hehehe…

Wufei: I could say the same for your LACK of costume, onna. What are you supposed to be? A stripper?

Sally Po: (punches Wufei across the room)

Duo: I want candy.

Cherry Blossom: Later. Let's get this show on the road. 

Matteo: Wait a minute! What about me? I don't have a part.

Cherry Blossom: You can be the…uh…assistant director. 'Kay?

Matteo: Yeah! I'm assistant director! (dances around singing) I'm assistant director! I'm assistant director! I'm—

Cherry Blossom: Matteo?

Matteo: Yeah?

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

Matteo: (pouts)

Cherry Blossom: Okay everybody, places!

THRILLER – SCENE ONE TAKE ONE

Cherry Blossom: Action!

Heero, Duo, and Sally are watching PSYCHO. You know…that movie with the girl in the shower and blah, blah, blah….anyway, they get to the shower part. Heero is looking at the screen with his usual expression (which is, to say, expressionless). Duo is shrieking and hiding his face in Heero's shoulder. Sally is laughing maniacally…..

Cherry Blossom: CUT! Sally, you're supposed to be scared.

Sally: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA…KILL, KILL, KILL….YEEEEESSSSS!!!!

Cherry Blossom: (sighs) Okay, let's just move on.

The movie ends and we cut to the outside of the theatre. It's Halloween night and a bunch of little kids in costumes are running around.

Trowa: Where'd all these little kids come from?

Matteo: My younger cousins. I've got 500 of 'em.

Random kid: (looks up at Wufei)

Wufei: What do _you_ want, onna?

Random kid: (kicks Wufei in the shin and runs away)

Wufei: (hops around in pain) OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!!

Sally: (laughs at Wufei)

Matteo: Yeah, you've got to watch Lucy. She kicks. 

Wufei: KISAMA—

Cherry Blossom: Guys, focus! Music video!

Wufei: (mutters incoherently)

Heero, Sally, and Duo walk down the street trying to avoid the sugar-high kids. They come across Quatre who is trying to carve a jack-o-lantern. With a butter knife.

Cherry Blossom: CUT! Where's our props?

Matteo: Umm…yeah your mom wouldn't let us borrow the real carving knife. She said you'd probably do something stupid and cut your fingers off.

Cherry Blossom: How are we supposed to carve a jack-o-lantern without a carving knife?!

Heero: (takes out his gun from..er…leather space and shoots eight rounds into the pumpkin. Two for eyes, one for a nose, and five holes for a mouth)

Cherry Blossom: (sweatdrops) Ahh, thanks…I think. 

Heero: (shrugs) 

Cherry Blossom: Okay people let's move it along. Aaaaaaaand ACTION!

Duo: Hey guys, let's take a walk down by the cemetery. That is…if your not….CHICKEN!

Heero: Hn…

Sally: Did you just call me…..chicken? (fingers a knife)

Duo: (gulps) No…

Cherry Blossom: Hey! Why didn't you TELL me you had a knife?

Sally: You didn't ask.

Cherry Blossom: (counts to ten under her breath) Okay…let's just move on.

So Heero, Sally, and Duo walk down the street towards the cemetery. 

Cherry Blossom: Cue crappy suspense music!

Matteo: Cueing crappy suspense music…now!

An aura of suspense fills the scene and our heroes are now in front of the cemetery. The full moon is hidden behind dark clouds that warn of a violent storm and all is dark and still…except for the crappy suspense music.

Duo: Hey guys, know why cemeteries always have fences around them? 'Cause people are just DYING to get in there! Get it? DYING.

Heero: (pulls gun out of leather space) Duo…shut up.

Duo: (shuts up)

All of a sudden the crappy suspense music is overridden by a solid rock beat. Sally starts to groove to the beat, swinging her hips as she walks through the graveyard. 

Sally: (sings) It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark.

Duo joins Sally and dances on the graves (sacrilege!) shaking his hips in time to the music.

Duo: (sings) Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart.

The moon comes out from behind the crowd and illuminates the graveyard. Now you can clearly see a figure sitting on one of the graves. It's hideous with slimy tentacles and icky pustules all over its face.

Relena: I am NOT happy about this.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

All three heroes stop and stare open mouthed at the hideous creature before them. Duo whimpers and hides behind Heero. Sally brings out her knife and holds it in front of her. Heero just stands there. In shock.

Duo: (sings) You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it.

Sally: (sings) You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, you're paralyzed.

The hideous creature takes a step towards the three and they break out of their trance and run away…FAST. 

Heero: (glares at the camera before singing) 'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller Night and no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike

Duo: (sings) You know it's Thriller, Thriller Night. You're fighting for your life inside a killer, Thriller tonight. (trips over his braid and crashes into Sally sending them both rolling down a very steep hill that just _happens_ to be there)

There is a cottage at the bottom of the hill. The three run into it a bar the door, hoping that it will keep the Piececrap…er the monster out.

Duo: Heyyy! You said no haunted houses.

Cherry Blossom: I didn't say no haunted _cottages_ did I?

Duo: No…

Cherry Blossom: Well then.

The three look around the shack nervously. They decide to split up so they can search the place more thoroughly.

Duo: Are you crazy? You should never split up. That's like a sure-fire way to get killed.

Cherry Blossom: Just follow the script.

Duo: No way!

Cherry Blossom: I've got Nutter Butter for you after the music video. 

Duo: NUTTER BUTTER! YEAH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (runs out of the room) 

Heero: (shrugs) I'll take the basement.

Sally: I'll look around upstairs.

Heero gets out his gun and wanders down into the basement. He tries the light switch but it doesn't seem to be working. There is a noise behind him and the door to the basement slams shut. A black cat jumps out from the shadows at Heero.

BAM!

Noin: Hey! Watch it! You almost shot me!

Heero: (shrugs)

Cherry Blossom: Noin, sing the lines.

Noin: But he almost shot me!

Cherry Blossom: SING!

Noin: (grumbles a bit and glares at Heero before singing) You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run.

Meanwhile Sally is poking around the rooms upstairs. She hears a scratching at one of the windows. She peeks out the window but sees nothing. Sighing she turns back only to be grabbed by a strong hand.

Wufei: (sings) You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.

Sally: HIYAAA!!! (flips Wufei over her shoulder to the ground and karate chops him)

Wufei: ONNA! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?

Cherry Blossom: Sally, that wasn't in the script.

Sally: (shrugs)

Wufei: I am NOT working with that…that…ONNA.

Sally: What did you call me?

Wufei: ONNA!

Sally: (smacks him across the room)

Cherry Blossom: (groans) What did I do to deserve this?

Meanwhile, Duo is in the kitchen downstairs. He raids the fridge and makes himself a sandwich. After he's stuffed his face he hears noises coming from the behind the pantry door. He slowly makes his way over to the door and swings it open.

Duo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quatre: Ohhhh Trowa.

Trowa: Mmmmm….Quatre.

Duo flings the door shut and runs away still screaming.

Quatre: What's wrong with him?

Trowa: (shrugs)

Duo: (sings) You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination.

Our three heroes exit the cottage and run into the woods because everybody knows that the woods are a really safe place to be on Halloween night. All of a sudden the slime creature appears from behind them. All scream and run faster.

Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Heero: CRAP! 

Sally: (sings) But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind. You're out of time.

They run deeper and deeper into the woods hoping to lose the monster. All of a sudden a loud howling is heard and a wolf-like creature steps out from behind a tree.

Trowa: (sings) 'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller Night. There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes.

Duo: Wait a minute. What thing with forty eyes?

Cherry Blossom: Umm….(snaps fingers and covers Relena's body with creepy eyeballs) there.

Relena: NOT FAIR!

Sally: Ewww….

Everyone stops to stare at Relena's new eyeballs.

Cherry Blossom: Guuuuys. The video?

Heero: Uh…yeah. (backs away from Trowa and Relena) You know it's Thriller, Thriller Night.

You're fighting for your life inside of killer, Thriller Tonight

They somehow end up back in the graveyard. There is no sign of Relena or Trowa. Duo breathes a sigh of relief and sits on a tombstone. Suddenly (yes, suddenly) the tombstone begins to shake and a hand bursts out of the grave and locks around Duo's ankle.

Duo: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT—

BANG!

Heero: Shoots the hand and it lets go of Duo's ankle. Duo runs away from the grave and hides behind Heero. The zombie (Dorothy) reaches the other hand up through the ground and slowly pulls itself from the grave. It looks around and sees the hand lying there beside the grave. She casually picks up the hand and sticks it back on. Then she glares at Heero and starts to move towards him. 

Dorothy: Night creatures call and the dead start to walk in their masquerade.

Dorothy whistles and all the other zombies pop out of their graves and lurch towards Heero, Duo, and Sally.

Matteo: Who are all the extra zombies?

Cherry Blossom: My fifth period English class. They've listened to one too many crappy poems and it turned them into zombies. 

The zombies gather behind Dorothy and all the other monsters (Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, and Relena) appear and surround the hapless heroes (hehe…hapless heroes).. 

Trowa: (sings) There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time. 

Quatre: (sings) They're open wide.

Wufei: (sings) This is the end of your life.

The zombies form a line and do some killer dance moves while the rest of the monsters lunge at Heero and the others. Relena gets to Heero first and glomps onto him.

Heero: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT!!!

Relena: You're MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 

Heero: OMEO O KOROSU!

Relena takes off her slimy squid creature mask to reveal….her face! Oh the horror! Everybody screams….

Heero/Duo/Sally/Quatre/Trowa/Dorothy/zombie people: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: I said _everybody_ screams. 

Wufei: I am NOT going to scream like some ONNA.

Cherry Blossom: Candy…

Wufei: NO.

Cherry Blossom: (sighs) Cue the spiders. 

Wufei: (nervously) Wait a minute….what spiders?

Matteo: Cueing the spiders…now!

A bunch of small, black spiders crawl out from the open graves towards Wufei. He shrieks like a girl and leaps into Sally's arms.

Wufei: GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!

Sally: (laughs) It's only spiders, Wufei. Don't tell me you're afraid of such small, _weak_ creatures.

Wufei: I AM NOT AFRAID! It's just that…um….I'm allergic to them.

Sally: You're allergic to spiders.

Wufei: Yes.

More and more spiders crawl out of the graves. They start to fill up the set.

Cherry Blossom: Okay, Matteo. You can seal off the spider cage now. 

Matteo: Um…yeah, there's a little problem with that.

Cherry Blossom: What do you mean _little problem_?

Matteo: It won't seal off.

Cherry Blossom: WHAT?!

Matteo: I said it won't—

Cherry Blossom: Shut up and fix it.

Matteo: Umm….I'll try…

Duo: Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Look, just keep going on with the video and I'll try to find some raid or whatever.

Spiders have now surrounded the set. 

Duo: (looks nervously at the spiders and sings) They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side. 

Wufei: (sings) They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial. 

Trowa: Wait a minute. What dial?

Wufei: (shrugs) I don't know. It's in the script.

One of the spiders crawls over Quatre's foot. He let's out a yelp and leaps into Trowa's arms.

Quatre: (sings) Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together.

Trowa: (sings) All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen.

Quatre: What screen?

Wufei: Just keep singing so we can get our candy and get out of here.

Trowa: (shrugs and then sings) I'll make you see….

Everybody: (sings) That this is Thriller, Thriller Night.

Heero: (sings) 'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try.

Duo: (sings) This is Thriller, Thriller Night. So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller

Thriller here tonight.

Quatre: Diller?

Wufei: Just keep going. 

Spiders are threatening to suffocate everybody when Cherry Blossom runs out on to the set looking like that guy from Arachnaphobia (the exterminator or whatever).

Cherry Blossom: (sprays spiders with weird chemical..er…stuff) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! DIEEEE INSECTS!

Trowa: Technically, they're arachnids.

Cherry Blossom: Whatever.

Clouds of weird chemical…stuff obscure the camera. When the air finally clears the floor is littered with the bodies of spiders.

CRUNCH!

Noin: Ewww. I just stepped on a bunch.

Cherry Blossom: MATTEO!

Matteo: What?

Cherry Blossom: Clean this up.

Matteo: (mutters something unintelligible)

Cherry Blossom: Take five people, until we clean this set up.

Heero: You mean we're not done _yet_?

Cherry Blossom: Nope. We still have to shoot Zechzy's rap scene.

Zechs: YEAH! MY SCENE! DEMON EYES!!! 

Cherry Blossom: (sweatdrops) Uh…

About five minutes later….

The set is now cleared of all spiders and everyone is lined up and bobbing their head to the music. Zechs walks out into the scene and begins to groove to the beat making sure that everyone sees his wicked contact lenses.

Zechs: DEMON EYES!! 

Cherry Blossom: Zechs, just read your lines. 

Zechs: (glares and then raps)Darkness falls across the land. The midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood. To terrorize y'awl's neighbourhood. (does a little spin and grins at the camera). And whosoever shall be found without the soul for getting down (grinds his hips) must stand and face the Hounds Of Hell and rot inside a corpse's shell (points to Dorothy).

Dorothy: Hey! (glares at Zechs)

Duo: But Dorothy you _are_ a zombie.

Dorothy: (glares at Duo)

Zechs: (ignores them both and keeps on rapping) The foulest stench is in the air. The funk of forty thousand years and grizzly ghouls from every tomb are closing in to seal your doom. And though you fight to stay alive your body starts to shiver. For no mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller… (joins the rest of the group in the line and they do some dance moves).

Trowa does a wicked spin. Duo tries to copy it and hits Heero in the eye with his braid. Heero, temporarily blinded, bumps into Quatre, who knocks over Dorothy, who trips Wufei, who knocks over Sally, who manages to elbow Noin, who backs up to get away from the domino of people but ends up tripping on Relena's tentacles and sends them both crashing to the ground. Zechs, totally oblivious to the jumble of people on the ground, continues to bust a move.

Cherry Blossom: CUT! We're going to have to do that whole scene over again.

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Duo: Nuh uh.

Wufei: NO F****'N WAY AM I DOING THAT AGAIN!! NO F****'N WAY!!. (stomps off the set) 

Cherry Blossom: But what about the candy?

Trowa: Keep your candy. I'm going home.

Quatre: Wait for me, Trowa!

Noin: Let's get out of here.

Zechs: DEMON EYES!

Relena: I didn't get Heero. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dorothy: Oh, shut up.

Cherry Blossom: (watches them leave) Well I guess that means more candy for you and me.

Duo: CANDY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I CALL ALL THE NUTTER BUTTERS!!

Cherry Blossom: I CALL ALL CARAMELS!!

Matteo: Um….about the candy….

Cherry Blossom: Yeeessss?

Matteo: My cousins ate it all.

Cherry Blossom/Duo: (eyes turn all red and creepy) Matteo must _die_!

Matteo: (backs away) Guys? Guys!? Let's talk this over before you do something you'll regret. 

Cherry Blossom/Duo: (walk towards Matteo)

Matteo: Guys? 

Cherry Blossom/Duo: (lunge at Matteo)

Matteo: (runs away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! 

THE END

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh wait! Don't kill me! (dodges stuff thrown by readers) This is not my fault. This fic was sugar induced. I was not responsible for my actions. Don't flame meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!


	2. The new one!

1 

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Rubik's Cubes. And The Rules were taken from this website: 

http://freaky_freya.tripod.com/horror_movie_rules.html

Don't sue me. I have no money.

Warnings: This is stupid and not meant to be scary. And even though Relena and Wufei die I'm not labeling this a bashing fic since about 99% of the characters WILL DIE before the fic is finished. Don't worry. It's only a movie and they all come back to life eventually. This is also very weird so be prepared. If you haven't read my last Halloween special…you don't have to, it's nothing like this one ^__^ OOC PILOTS!! EVERYONE IS OOC!!!

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THE RETURN OF CHERRY BLOSSOM'S LITTLE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!!!!!! (this time, it's personal.)

Cherry Blossom: Well it's that time of the year again.

Trowa: Time to get your rabies shot?

Quatre: Time to renew your driver's license?

Wufei: Time to renounce fanfiction writing and leave us the hell alone for once?

Cherry Blossom: No, no, and definitely not. It's….HALLOWEEN!!! And because it's Halloween, we get to do an obligatory special. Just like last year ::sigh:: Memories… 

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melpomene: Wow. I never get tired of hearing that. 

Matteo: Please tell me that there are no spiders in the special this time. _Please_.

Cherry Blossom: No spiders. I thought we'd do a movie this time.

Duo: What?! Are you _insane_? I am **not** going to be in some stupid slasher movie! I'll get killed for sure.

Quatre: ::confused:: What do you mean.

Duo: The joker of the film always gets killed. It's in the Rules.

Heero: What rules?

Duo: EVERYONE knows about the Rules. What, do you live in a vacuum? Don't answer that.

Heero: -_-

Duo: Here, I'll explain about the Rules while the rest of you do the movie. Deal?

Cherry Blossom: ::pouting:: But that leaves me short one victim—er, I mean…actor.

Duo: ::shrugs:: Why don't you bring the girls in. Hell, bring in all the characters. Higher body count means more money!

Quatre: ::nervous:: I don't like the way this conversation is going.

Cherry Blossom: All right. The girls can come along too. And the Ozzies as well. And the scientists. Wouldn't want to leave anyone out.

There is a poof sound and a bunch of people fall from the sky to land on the floor in a heap.

Dorothy: Oww….

Hilde: What the hell?

Noin: I think I landed on my cell phone…

Zechs: All right, who's got their hand on my ass?

Catherine: Oops. Sorry. 

Zechs: No you're not.

Catherine: ^__^

Howard: Am I here again?! Dammit that's the third time this week! What do you people want from me? ::throws pina colada across the room::

Everybody else: O.o;

Dr. J: Wow. It's been a long time since I've been invited to join in a fanfiction.

Prof. G: Speak for yourself. 

Instructor H: I'm _never_ invited to fanfictions. This isn't a lemon is it?

Everybody: NO!!

Instructor H: Sheesh, I was only asking. 

Relena: Get OFF me you big oaf!

Trieze: That is no way for a lady to speak.

Relena: I'm going to introduce you to my fist in about a second if you don't get OFF.

Sally: I thought you were a pacifist.

Relena: Doesn't mean I'm a pushover.

Lady Une: Cherry I wish you'd get a better way of transporting us.

Cherry Blossom: Uh…sorry? 

Zechs: No you're not.

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ Look all of you read these scripts and get on set, kay? We're a little low on budget so Matteo's gonna be cameraman and Mel's our sound effects person. Hopefully the revealing costumes I'm putting you guys in will draw away from the fact that we have no plot and an inexperienced crew.

Matteo: Heyy…was that an insult?

Cherry Blossom: ….no?

Melpomene: Good.

Cherry Blossom: Duo, get ready for your cue.

Duo: Right. ::clears throat::

Cherry Blossom: Ready on set! Cue background music.

Melpomene: Background music starting…now!

Creepy night sounds fill the air.

Cherry Blossom: Camera #1 ready!

Matteo: Ready!

Cherry Blossom: Roll 'em in 5…4…3…2…

Duo: So you find yourself in a place many have gone, but few have returned from. You have entered…..THE SLASHER ZONE.

Melpomene: *Dwee dee doo doo, dwee dee doo doo, dwee dee—

Cherry Blossom: Mel…

Melpomene: Sorry.

Wufei, Heero, and Relena show up on screen. They are walking through a dark forest, nervously clinging to one another…okay, fine. Relena is nervously clinging to a bored looking Heero. Wufei is swing his katana at random plants off to the side.

Wufei: ::muttering:: Stupid onna, making us be in a stupid Halloween fic. I don't even celebrate Halloween dammit! I'm Chinese! 

Relena: I think I hear something…

Heero: Yeah. The rantings of a madman. 

Wufei: ::glares:: What was that Yuy?

Heero: ::smirk::

Leaves rustle in the distance and eerie music fills the set.

Heero: What the…

Relena: Where's this eerie music coming from?

Duo: Rule #1 for surviving a horror flick:

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Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.

Wufei: Why are we out here in the woods at night anyway?

Relena: Good question.

Heero: Look, something's moving in those bushes over there.

Relena: Heero, don't!

Heero: What? I'm just going to take a look. I'll be right back.

Duo: Rule #2:

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Don't ever say that you'll be right back, because you won't be. Ever. 

Wufei: Look, why don't I go with you, Yuy.

Relena: Ohh no, you are **not** leaving me alone out here in the woods. No way.

Wufei: Don't be such a baby, onna. 

Duo: Rule #3:

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When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go it alone.

Relena: I'm going with you.

Wufei: I don't see why we can't just stay on the path and not go wandering about in the woods at night.

Heero: Because it's in the script.

Wufei: …oh. 

The trio moves off the path towards the sound. The background music rises to a crescendo and then stops suddenly.

Relena: Uh oh. This can't be good.

A hulking figure in a ski mask with a chainsaw pops out of the bushes and runs over to the three victim—uh…heroes.

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Arrrgh!

Duo: Rule #4:

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Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions.

Relena: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Heero: ::pulls out gun:: Omeo o korosu.

****

BAM **BAM** **BAM** **BAM** **BAM** **BAM** **BAM…BAM**

The Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy still comes after them.

Wufei: This isn't working…

Duo: Rule #5:

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If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case, you'll never have to reload)

Heero: ::runs out of ammo:: Damn. ::pulls out another, smaller gun::

Wufei: ::sweatdrops:: Uh…call me crazy but I don't think you'll have much effect on him with that thing.

****

bam **bam bam bam bam**

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Argh! ::looks mildly pissed but keeps on coming::

Relena: Heero…

Heero: Is this guy Rasputin or something? Die already!

****

bam bam bam bam bam bam…click click

Wufei: Oh *expletive*! Yuy you *expletive* *expletive*! Now we're gonna die!

Duo: Rule #6:

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If you have a shotgun or some other big gun and your shooting a monster and it has no effect on it, don't just whip out a tiny pistol and start shooting at it! RUN, you IDIOT!!!!!! 

Heero: Right, I give up. Run away! Run away!

Our trio runs deeper into the forest, screaming, as the masked villain gives chase. Insert five minutes of exciting footage of people running through the forest in the dark here.

Heero: ::trips over a branch:: Oof! ::falls down:: What the…

Wufei: Get up you idiot! He's going to catch you!

Relena: ::tugs at Heero's sleeve:: Come on Heero! ::starts to run and then trips as well, dragging Heero to the ground with her::

Heero: __

Relena: Aheh heh…sorry?

Duo: Rule #7

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When running away from a serial killer in a large forest, always make sure your shoelaces are tied and you don't trip on a branch.

Wufei: ::trips over his shoelace:: Ah! What the *expletive*! My shoes don't even _have_ laces! 

Relena: ::trips and falls:: Oww…

Heero: Get up you two! 

Wufei: ::grumbles:: It's not _my_ fault.

Relena: ::stands up and then falls down again:: This is so not fair! ::starts to cry::

Heero: What's the matter with you? I mean, I know you're not exactly graceful but even you're not this clumsy.

Relena: Hey!

Duo: That brings us to Rule #8

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If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

Relena: That is a stupid rule.

Duo: ::shrugs:: Hey, I don't make up these things.

Wufei: Discuss later, run now!

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Mrrawgh! 

Our trio runs into a clearing (after tripping on tree roots and the like a few more times) and pass a startled looking Quatre.

Quatre: Hey guys! What's wrong? Why are you running like that?

Relena: Well you see it's a—

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Blarrgh! ::catches up to Relena and slices her in two::

Quatre: Ew…okay, I guess that answers my question.

Heero: Run you *expletive* moron! ::grabs hold of Quatre and drags him along after him while the CCWG (Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy) is busy with Relena.

Quatre: ::struggling to keep up:: No need to be rude about it.

Duo: Heh heh heh…first casualty of the evening ladies and gentlemen! 

Cast and crew: Yay!

Relena: ::comes back stage looking rather messy and covered in fake blood:: You killed me!

Duo: ::shrugs:: Sorry. You were in direct violation of rule #9

Relena: Which is?

****

If you're being chased by a monster and you find one of your friends and they ask "what's wrong?", don't stop and try to explain. Just tell them to run as you go by. If they're really your friend they'll follow. If not - that's their tough luck.

Relena: ::mad:: Gee, thanks.

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry, you can always come back as a zombie later on.

Relena: Oh joy.

Wufei: Helllo. Chainsaw Wielding Maniac here. Can we focus on the movie please?

Cherry Blossom: Sorry Wufei.

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Blaargh!

Our trio (minus Relena add Quatre) spots a Honda Civic on the horizon. Why a Honda Civic? Why not? Besides, a Winnebago is too hard to manouver onto the set…

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!!!

…sorry. Anyway, they all pile madly into the car as Heero fumbles with the keys—

Dorothy: How'd he get the keys? They're in the middle of nowhere in an abandoned Honda Civic. How could Heero have the keys?

…uh…okay Heero hotwired the car. There. Better?

Dorothy: Much. 

Heero: Okay this wire goes there and then I…

Wufei: Hurry up Yuy!

Quatre: Wufei you are squishing my arm.

The car starts and then stalls. Heero tries again, only to evoke the same result.

Heero: What the…

Wufei: Yuy!

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Waaaarhg!

Dorothy: Um…

Cherry Blossom: What is it now, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Can't the Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy say anything coherent? 

Everyone: NO!!!

Dorothy: Sheesh, calm down okay? It was just a simple question.

Heero: Why won't this *expletive* car start?!

Quatre: ::shrugs:: 'Cause it's a Civy?

Cherry Blossom: Quit picking on the Civys! At least they're not Gremlins.

Matteo: Cue the Gremlins?

Cherry Blossom: ::groans and buries her head in her hands::

Wufei: I think you should give up on the car Yuy.

Heero: I don't get it. I hotwired everything correctly. It should work.

Duo: Not necessarily. Rule # 10 says:

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When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.

Wufei: Great. Just great.

Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy: Mwaaaargh! ::pounds on the driver side window::

Heero: ::sigh:: Looks like we're back to running.

Quatre: How're we supposed to get away if he's just standing there, waiting for us to come out?

Heero: Bait.

Quatre: Bait?

Wufei: Don't be stupid Yuy. What could we possibly use as…

Quatre/Heero: ^__^

Wufei: Ohhh no. No way.

Quatre: But Wufei, surely you must see it is the only honorable thing for you to do. 

Wufei: B-but…

Heero: Quatre, grab his legs. I'll get his head.

Wufei: Hey! Let go of me right now! I'm warning you…Yuy! What are you doing?

Heero: ::rolls down the window and shoves Wufei out of it:: We'll always remember you, Wufei.

Wufei: YUY YOU *expletive*! I'M GONNA *expletive* HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR *expletive* *expletive* LIFE!! YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH WU—

Wufei is horribly murdered by the Crazy Chainsaw Wielding Guy. While the murderer's attention is diverted, Heero and Quatre run away. There is a moment of silence on the set. Then…

Duo: Ladies and Gentlemen that is the SECOND casualty of the evening!

Cast and crew: ::cheer::

Wufei: ::comes backstage, furious and covered in fake blood:: YOU *expletive* LITTLE *expletive*!!!! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!!!

Duo: ::grins:: Rule #11:

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Feel no guilt.

Wufei: YOU WILL FEEL MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT YUY!!! NO ONE BETRAYS WUFEI AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!! I'M *expletive* DEAD HERE!!!!

Relena: Join the club.

Cherry Blossom: Well…now that the mood is set, let's go back in time to three days ahead of this scene.

Zechs: You can do that?

Duo: ::shrugs:: It's a horror flick. Timelines are always illogical.

Wufei: ::sneers:: Is that another rule?

Duo: Bite me.

Cherry Blossom: Now now, children. Let's just get on with the nice slasher story, kay? And the good news is…all those who died get to come back to life! 'Cause we've gone back in time! Yay!

Dorothy: You're strange.

Cherry Blossom: Thank you.

Three days earlier, our trio (the earlier one, with Relena, Heero, and Wufei) are walking through the halls of a crowed school. They gather around Heero's locker.

Relena: So, what was this thing you wanted us to see?

Heero: This. ::holds up small cube-shaped object::

Wufei: …it's a rubik's cube.

Heero: Not just any rubik's cube! It's the RUBIK'S CUBE FROM HELL!!!

Melpomene: Dun dun DUN!

Cherry Blossom: Mel…

Melpomene: Sorry.

Wufei: …Yuy, you are insane.

Relena: Have to agree with him there.

Heero: No really! My Aunt brought it back from her trip to South America. She said that she got it from the grave of a dead priest. Legend says that he was guarding the possessed box from falling into the wrong hands.

Relena: Heero, she probably just picked it up at the airport. Look, it says made in Taiwan on the bottom.

Heero: ::flips over the cube:: Hn. Well…

Wufei: Just put the thing away and let's go eat. I'm starving.

Relena: I can't believe you _want_ to eat the cafeteria food. 

Wufei: ::shrugs:: Food is food.

Relena: Whatever. C'mon Heero.

Heero: ::sighs:: 

Duo: What Heero's Aunt failed to realize is that she has broken the 12th Rule:

****

Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead.

The scene changes to a lab, far, far away, where five mad scientists are conducting their horrible experiments.

Professor G: Hey! I resent that! I'm not insane, I'm just relatively unstable.

Doctor J: ::snorts:: Yeah, right.

Professor G: Stuff it Claw. 

Doctor J: Make me, Mushroom Man.

Quatre: Can't you guys stop fighting for one minute?

Doctor J/Professor G: NO!

Quatre: …I was only asking.

Cherry Blossom: Guys…the film if you please?

Doctor J: ::shoots G one last glare before pulling the switch on a large machine:: This is it! The moment we've been waiting for! This will change history and the nature of science forever…or at least make us famous for a few days.

Master O: At last, I shall get the chance to see my lovely DNA recombinator in action. Is the test subject ready?

Howard: ::trapped in a glass cubical with a laser pointed at his head:: Dammit, I'm gonna get you for this S!

Doktor S: He's ready.

Instructor H: Then let's get crackin'. I have a date with Sally Po tonight.

Wufei (from offstage): WHAT?!

Cherry Blossom: Shut up Wu. You're not in this scene, remember?

Sally: I'm not sure I agreed to this.

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry. You won't have to date him. He's gonna die soon anyway.

Duo: Yeah, they've all ignored Rule #12: 

****

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

Doctor J: Everybody ready?

Instructor H: Yep.

Doctor J: Commencing recombination sequence in 5…4…3…2…1…now!

All five scientists flick their respective switches and the laser flickers to life, surrounding Howard in that…special glow. 

Howard: You…shall..all…pay! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

There is a flash of light and a small explosion as the energy emitted by the laser becomes too much for the glass chamber to hold. Scientists duck and cover. When debris is finished falling, they peak out of their hiding spots one by one.

Professor G: Did it work?

Instructor H: Dunno. Howard, are you there?

A figure in a tattered Hawaiian shirt stirs in the rubble and turns to face the pilots. Well…he would if he had a face. Now it's just a gaping hole with gooey puss and strips of skin hanging off it.

Relena: Eww…

Cherry Blossom: Silence from the peanut gallery!

Howard: Blaaaaaaaaaargh!

Trowa: How can he speak? He has no mouth.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: It's a horror flick dammit! It doesn't have to make _sense_.

Howard also seems to have grown long, claw-like fingernails and a wicked set of spikes down his back. Howling, he launches himself at the scientists.

Doktor S: Oh *expletive*.

Howard rips the scientists to shreds with his claws, decorating the room with their bloody corpses.

Trowa: Bet you won't see that in an episode of Martha Stewert.

Cherry Blossom: Trowa, please.

Trowa: Sorry.

Duo: And so the scientists were all brutally murder because they forgot the 13th Rule: 

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ALL genetic experiments will create humanoid mutants (whether or not human/primate DNA is used) with BIG teeth and claws, and a tough hide impervious to bullets. NEVER play god and try your hand at gene-splicing!

Instructor H: Dammit, now I'll never get my date with Sally.

Sally: Thanks Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: No problem.

Matteo: Cherrrry, I'm tiiiiiiired! Can we stop and get something to eat now?

Cherry Blossom: But…but we're not even half-way done! You can't just leave it there!

Duo: Actually I'm hungry too.

Heero: And me.

Quatre: Me too.

Wufei: I could use a bite.

Trowa: Yeah.

Cherry Blossom: …..

Melpomene: You know pizza—

Cherry Blosssom: ::throws her hands in the air:: All right! Fine! I'm outnumbered. We'll eat and then come back to this later. Okay?

Everybody: YEAH!!

Duo: Dibs on the Nutter Butters!

Cherry Blossom: Hey! Don't touch the candy Goddammit! That's for the kids…

Duo: *chomp* Mmph. *smack* What was that Cherry-chan? *gulp*

Cherry Blossom: -_- Nevermind. I quit. 

To Be Continued.

I'm tired and it's almost midnight. So, this will have to do for now. I'll finish this tomorrow or something. Happy Halloween!


End file.
